Sharing Your Mental Health Story: Things to thing about when you tell your story online or in person

Sharing Your Mental Health Story:

Things to think about when you tell your story online or in person.

Published: Dec 2025

Key Takeaways

Storytelling can be a powerful tool for changing thinking and reducing stigma by:
- Humanizing illnesses and issues.
- Creating a path for those who may want to share their stories.
- Demonstrating an openness for others to do the same.
- Creating culture change, one person at a time.

At one point, the Commission published a tip sheet called Sharing Your Story Safely. However, the word “safely” seemed like an overpromise. Who can promise that there will be no fallout from publishing one’s life story? The internet seems to be a harsher place, fueled by angry algorithms and societal polarization. Despite this, the value and importance of reducing stigma through starting honest conversations around mental health cannot be underestimated. Another frame is the concept of sharing bravely, a viewpoint that takes into account competing factors. With this perspective in mind, we decided to re-examine these tips with insights from those who share their stories publicly.

According to research, contact—having genuine interactions with a person with lived experience of mental illness—is the single best way to combat stigma, says Jessica Ward-King, who publishes online as the StigmaCrusher. “And so, sharing my story is necessary. But it is not for everyone, every time.”

“I do think things are changing at a structural level,” says KJ Aiello, writer and author of The Monster and the Mirror: Mental Illness, Magic, and the Stories We Tell, in which they shared their story of mental illness, suicidal ideation, and institutionalization.

Aiello’s award-winning essay, published in The Walrus and titled Who Gets to Be Mentally Ill? received responses from around the world, including numerous media speaking requests and responses from healthcare professionals. After reading it, they became more aware of the concept of patient advocacy, which is the effort to bring patients to the decision-making table regarding their own mental healthcare. “That is a signal that there is an appetite to do better on an institutional level,” Aiello says.

The negative aspects

“When I share my story in person, I tend to get a lot of support and very little challenge,” Ward-King says, “but sharing it in print or video (particularly online) opens me up to a lot of keyboard warriors who do not hesitate to share their uninformed views of my experience with me.”

For Aiello, sometimes the questions pertain to their experience, many of which are well-meaning and come from a place of curiosity. In the extreme, however, Aiello says, “They want me to show receipts. They want more proof.”

Aiello says it comes with the territory. “If you are going to tell your story publicly, you have to be ready for intrusive questions, and you have to decide – before you put your story out there – what are my boundaries? Sometimes, people may not think that you have boundaries, but you do.”

Patient narrative and patient advocacy

As part of their book research and lived experience, KJ Aiello researched the role of a patient’s narrative, which means having their personal account, being included in their clinical records. They worked with researcher Virginia Ford-Roy on their McMaster thesis work for Powerless Patient: Reclaiming Agency through Patient Narratives.

In the past, Aiello had an incorrect diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, based on clinician observations. It took Aiello 15 years to fight for an accurate diagnosis of bipolar disorder type II with rapid cycling. Anytime Aiello tried to question mental healthcare professionals, they were either dismissed or perceived as “difficult.”

In Aiello’s records, which they requested over the course of two years and date back nearly two decades, they were often referred to as “resistant” and “hesitant,” with some notes even going so far as to say, “patient refuses treatment.” In Aiello’s opinion, this is a story told about them that would remain in their records and negatively impact their mental healthcare for years to come.

Aiello says having patient advocates to support those with mental health crises is a first step, along with more institutional training for clinicians, so that it isn’t the labour of the patient to inform professionals about culturally sensitive, culturally appropriate healthcare.

Those advocates can also serve as translators, Aiello says. “A lot of patients in the mental healthcare system may not know what is being directed at them – being formed (involuntary admission) or held on a 72-hour hold (involuntary assessment), or the medications,” for example.

Also, Aiello notes, that mental health professionals may think in a medical model—what treatment is required or what medication is used —rather than asking, “What are the factors around this?” They may include housing insecurity, financial insecurity, and lack of affordable mental health resources, to name a few.

“The medical model is very much a diagnosis-treatment-fixing pipeline,” Aiello says. “It also assumes that once ‘fixed,’ there isn’t a plan for a potential relapse. It’s very categorical, which is why it’s often ineffective. It doesn’t take into consideration all the other factors.”

Dr. Rachel Grimminck, a psychiatrist in British Columbia, is part of a team working to reduce stigma in mental health care. She notes that psychiatrists in Canada are trained in the biopsychosocial (spiritual) model, which emphasizes holistic practice. However, limited public funding for therapy creates a significant barrier to access for many people. In addition, health care providers often have little ability to address broader determinants of health – such as access to safe housing and food security – which strongly influence overall well-being.

The changing tide

KJ Aiello recently worked with a medical resident for a mental health issue and found their approach helpful. Some of the factors included:

Being heard and having their experiences validated.
Clarifying assumptions to ensure the clinician understood correctly.
Asking for patient input: “What is it that you are hoping for?”
Having treatment options and understanding the pros and cons of each approach.
Having a holistic plan that considers the patient’s experiences.

For example, in the past, Aiello was adverse to certain medications because of the side effects or their ineffectiveness, given their inaccurate diagnosis. They were characterized as “treatment resistant.” With their current healthcare professional, they weighed the options, considered Aiello’s current life situation, which included a stable home and support network, and suggested they revisit the plan in six weeks.

Systemic change is happening through medical schools and other training bodies.

The Narrative Medicine division at Columbia University works with clinicians and health professionals on collaborative skills and creative capacities to deepen self-awareness with a commitment to health care justice.
The Mental Health Commission of Canada, in partnership with CHA Learning, has a free e-learning course on Mental Health and Structural Stigma in Healthcare. It is for health system leaders, influencers, and any healthcare professional to better understand and identify structural stigma in their organization and how it contributes to inequity and poorer experiences and health outcomes for those experiencing mental health and substance use concerns.
Days of Awareness, such as during Mental Health Week, shine a light on mental health. For example, the 2023 theme, “My Story,” recognized the role of nuanced personal narratives. Florence K, a musician, CBC host, and doctoral candidate, shared her story of living with bipolar II, opening the conversation on mental health, illness, and treatment.
Grimminck notes that meaningful change requires not only health-care reforms but also government and policy action to address the structural social determinants of health and address power imbalances to achieve greater health equity.
The Mental Health Commission, in partnership with CAMH and other organizations, launched Culturally Adapted Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for South Asian Canadians, including training modules.

That said, Aiello notes that there is still more work to be done and more intersectional thinking is required. For example, if you’re Black and in psychosis, will you be treated differently than someone with white skin? There also needs to be more work done on how policing and mental health are integrated, recalling the story of Chantel Moore.

In 2020, the 26-year-old member of the Tla-o-qui-aht First Nation on Vancouver Island was shot and killed by an Edmundston police constable in New Brunswick. Police had been called to her apartment for a wellness check.

The how-tos and practical tips

Decide: Sharing your story is always your choice. Your story belongs to you. Share only what feels safe and right for you, in your own way, and at your own pace, Dr. Grimminck says.

If it’s your first time, consider taking small steps to try it out and see how it feels.
Sharing openly may feel vulnerable or uncomfortable.
Sometimes, when people disclose a lot of personal details (sometimes called oversharing), there is a risk of feeling exposed and vulnerable, which can make it harder to share in the future.
You can always share more, but once something is published or posted, it may be hard to take back—so think about what feels safe now and what might feel safe later.

Connect with your values: Your values can guide how much you share, when, and with whom, Dr. Grimminck says. Ask yourself: Why do I want to share my story? Is it to:

Reduce stigma?
Inspire others?
Connect with community?
Live authentically?
Another reason?

Make space for thoughts and feelings: It’s normal to have a mixture of feelings, including excitement, anxiety or others, about sharing your story and how others will respond.

Instead of fighting these feelings, notice them with compassion.
Feelings can be helpful information and may point to what matters to us.
It’s okay to feel unsure about how to share your story.
Some people feel uncertain or worry about ‘getting it right.’
Remember: There’s no perfect way to tell your story.
Some details might be too hard to revisit or could feel retraumatizing—protect yourself by deciding in advance what you don’t want to include.
Remember you’re in control of what you share.

Set up a support system: Dr. Grimminck suggests involving your support system along the way so you’re not doing this alone, and so that they will be better placed to debrief with you afterward and support you if there are harmful comments.

Set boundaries: Keep private what feels too personal. Consider whether you want to use your real name or stay anonymous/pseudonymous.

Consider whether this is the right time to share: Generally, it’s better to share when in a place of greater stability rather than during a crisis or right after a traumatic event, Dr. Grimminck suggests. Ask yourself: Am I ready to share now, or would waiting feel better?

Suggestions for dealing with harmful comments: “As difficult as it is, the best thing to do is to ignore these prejudiced and ignorant comments as baseless,” says the StigmaCrusher, Jessica Ward-King. “Even as I try to educate and crush stigma, there are some comments that are just not worth replying to. My lived experience is just that – mine, and I am the expert.”

Sometimes it’s hard to let go of unkind comments, particularly when they bring painful emotions like shame, says Dr. Grimminck.
Self-compassion is a powerful tool for coping with shame and other painful emotions.
Sharing with safe people can also help.
Stepping back and putting things in perspective can be helpful, including reminding yourself of the reasons you chose to share your story.

When comments cut or become threatening: Ward-King says comments about her child felt personal, and at times she sought help from a therapist and her personal support network. She has had to use social media reporting tools on occasion for particular comments.

When comments are simply overwhelming: Aiello says people who have read their book or articles reach out to say how much it resonated with them – and then they receive the other person’s story in great detail, some of which is hard to hear. “Some of them I cannot read until the end, because I absorb.” Aiello will respond with “thank you so much for trusting me with this, I hope you’re well now, and I hope you have the resources you need.” Consider the impact on others: If you are telling a family story, is it yours alone to tell? Consider consulting with family members in advance, who may have different perspectives or requests for privacy.

Use safe language: What does “safe” mean in this context? Self-harm and suicide are highly stigmatized. Many people are afraid to discuss these topics because they fear saying the wrong thing or believe that talking about them will increase their risk. However, this is not the case; discussing these topics intentionally can, in fact, reduce risk for people.

Learn how through the #ChatSafe guidelines for online engagement. They were designed with young people in mind but are applicable to anyone discussing suicide or self-harm

Consider other issues of safety: Aiello notes that sometimes, if someone opens up about their mental health, they may be more likely to experience intervention from police, child protection agencies, or lose employment. In these cases, Aiello suggests looking for community support as a starting point.

Mention specific mental health resources: When writing about mental health topics, in particular suicide, consider things such as the contagion effect.

Find out more about that in this guide called Before You Post or Publish on Suicide.
Another great resource is this guide to finding mental health care in Canada. It lists options for those with insurance and those without.

Working with news media

Different outlets have different guidelines – ask questions about the process.
Clarify how a story will be used, whether it will be edited, and who will have access.
The Narwhal publishes an interviewee guide that answers common questions about working with their journalists, that answers many common questions.
Journalists working in mental health can access the Mindset Guide on mental health reporting for tips.
Circumstances may change. At The Catalyst, the magazine of the Mental Health Commission of Canada, individuals who initially shared their stories have requested that they be removed later due to concerns about family privacy or the potential impact on their employment prospects. We comply because while we work to reduce stigma, we also understand that it can be pervasive.

For Aiello, it is a balance. “Despite losing opportunities, jobs, friends, and years to mental illness, I can be public with my identity. In fact, my life has improved because I simply didn’t care to hide or defend myself anymore. I have been given a position in life that allows me to do what I need to do in order to live with my mental illness.”