
Living in the present: How I learned to stop looking forward
Amid 2020 isolation, aimless drives and a phone camera taught me to live in the present.
If you are in distress, you can call or text 988 at any time. If it is an emergency, call 9-1-1 or go to your local emergency department.

A recent writing and communications student who is slowly settling into her niches of feminism, mental health awareness and editorial writing. She is an avid reader and media consumer, and one of her all-time favourite books is A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. In her spare time, Aishah can either be found drawing or painting in the winter, and camping, canoeing and swimming in the summer.

Amid 2020 isolation, aimless drives and a phone camera taught me to live in the present.

It seems I’m always trying to forge belonging, or fielding a gulf between myself and the community I grew up with. I feel deeply disconnected from my childhood friends and peers, cultural background, and family. My home base. My roots.

I was luckier than most when the global pandemic erupted in early 2020. I had a car, and I lived near the country. I was still deeply impacted by the necessary isolation, and as the weeks dragged on a sense of lethargy, maddening boredom and loneliness began to creep around me.

Fabiola Phillipe — mother, sister, and friend — was kind, compassionate, generous, and humble. She also lived with mental health challenges that stemmed from experiences of loneliness and isolation during her youth. As she struggled with depression, she began using substances — as a comfort and a substitute for the support and understanding she needed.

For employees, the past two-plus years have been a whirlwind. After COVID-19 threw the world into disarray, people were forced to grapple in the dark and adjust to new work environments.

Learning to roller skate won’t solve my existential confusion, but gliding brings real joy in a lonely, transitional season.

My legs are sore from my practice session in my cousin’s basement. A seasoned hockey player, he agreed to help me, although he was mostly unconcerned, absentmindedly shooting a tennis ball around as I wobbled.
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