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When I first learned that Carolyn Bennett had been named Canada’s inaugural minister of mental health and addictions, I was overcome with gratitude.
Naturally, I was grateful for the growing spotlight on mental health and substance use — a light that has expanded both in scope and intensity over the past two years. But I was equally thankful to be gaining a new ally — one that I hoped could help answer the question that drives all of us at the Mental Health Commission of Canada (MHCC): How can we best support the people of Canada through these challenging times?
Last month, I had the opportunity to sit down with the minister for a virtual interview that would answer that question and many others.
Taking a holistic approach
As we began our conversation, it didn’t take long to recognize that, while Minister Bennett may be new to the role, she was well steeped in the topic. When asked which misconception about mental health she would most like to correct, she answered without hesitation.
“Everyone needs to understand the difference between mental health and mental illness,” she told me. “When Dr. Brock Chisholm (The World Health Organization’s first director-general from 1948 to 1953) said, ‘there is no true health without mental health,’ he was right. We can’t talk about physical health without considering the mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of a person’s well-being.”
With a long career as a family physician before entering politics, Minister Bennett carries a deep understanding of the inextricable link between mental and physical health. She also knows first-hand what happens when that link is overlooked.
“Working in family medicine,” she said, “you hear about people’s difficulties every day. I remember seeing executive reports come in, knowing the patient was struggling with family problems and other issues, but none of those things were included. Someone’s cardiogram or body mass index doesn’t paint a full picture of how well that person is.” Such a disjointed approach, she added, contributes to the stigma around mental illness.
Fortunately, she said, COVID-19 has given us a new opportunity to make a change for the better. As the disease has taken a steep toll on both physical and mental health, it has also underscored the intersection between the two.
“With COVID, people have gotten better about admitting when they’re struggling,” she explained. “If even one out of every two people can speak up when their mental health is deteriorating, it will reduce the stigma and we’ll be in a much better position to address the issues long term.”
Opening new doors to care
Of course, as Minister Bennett was quick to point out, stigma is just one piece of the puzzle. And responding to the new and existing mental health needs in Canada will require innovation and co‑operation at every level.
One example of that innovation is the Stepped Care 2.0 © model — championed and scaled up by the MHCC — which provides the least intensive form of support deemed appropriate, which is then “stepped” up or down as needed. In Newfoundland and Labrador, the model contributed to a 68 per cent reduction in wait times for mental health services — and Minister Bennett is hopeful for similar success elsewhere.
“In post-secondary institutions, for instance, it’s not that every student needs a psychologist,” she explained. “They may get the support they need from proper orientation or peer counselling.”
In another example, the minister cited a study of 40 women in need of perinatal mental health support. Of those 40, only two met the criteria that would require a specialized perinatal psychiatrist.
“The provinces and territories are excited about this model. They’re doing a great job working together and learning from each other to implement these sorts of programs and advance our understanding in many areas,” she said, noting their shared focus on developing culturally safe, trauma-informed care. “They’re working across boundaries to share the best ideas and make them even better.”
The high praise for provinces and territories brings up the question that some have asked since the Minister of Mental Health and Addictions post was created. Where does the federal government best fit into the health care equation?
“The delivery of health care is provincial or territorial. But whatever we can do at the federal level to lighten the load, we should. Health — including mental health — is a shared responsibility between all orders of government,” she said.
The minister is also passionate about the federal government’s other role in improving mental health, one that starts from the inside.
“We have mental health challenges across all branches of government,” she said. “Veterans, Corrections, Indigenous, RCMP. So how do we become an exemplary employer? We have to be able to take care of our own people and walk the talk when it comes to mental health.”
Drawing on outside strength
When our discussion turns to safeguarding her own mental health, Minister Bennett’s insights reaffirm much of what we know about protective factors.
She talks about the importance of social connection, expressing gratitude for her great team at work, and her partner, Peter, who she describes as her number one supporter. “I could be working all night for three days, and he still greets me like I’m Gretzky after a hat trick when I get home.”
She also talks about physical activity, describing walks with her yellow lab, Ripley, beneath the magical tree cover of Toronto’s Beltline Trail, and hobbies like Oscar homework, which comes with the territory when you’re married to someone in the film industry.
Finally, she talks about the peace she finds in nature, particularly during visits to Georgian Bay. “I need to look out at that point where the sky meets the water — to notice how the water looks different every time,” she said. “Being able to see something bigger than yourself, something that you can’t control, is a good reminder that plans can change.”
And it’s exactly that philosophy that the minister hopes to help instill for Canada’s people during this pandemic period and beyond.
Charting the path forward
“There are two kinds of immunizations important for Canadians right now,” she said. “One is for COVID-19, and the other is immunization against uncertainty.”
Here, she is referring both to the pandemic and other global issues like climate change, which increase our levels of stress and anxiety.
“Resilience is recognizing that your day isn’t going to go exactly as you planned it out in your agenda —and learning to be OK with that,” she said. “We need to provide people with the tools to build that kind of resilience and autonomy when things don’t go according to plan.”
“I also hope we’ll get better at being able to reach out to those who may be struggling, those who don’t seem like themselves. COVID has taught us that we can be together while apart. How can we leverage that to build resilience and show people that they aren’t alone?”
Answering that question on a nationwide scale is at the heart of the minister’s ambitious mandate — one that she is ready and eager to fulfil.
“We aim to have a mental health strategy that everyone can see themselves in. That will mean looking to national standards and establishing minimum expectations to build on,” she explained. “Out of that, we’ll ensure that money meant for mental health goes to mental health through transfers and collect more research and data in the process. Understanding those outcomes will be critical in making the best decisions in the future.”
Over the longer term, the minister hopes to help build a more cohesive system of care.
“We’ve been fighting this patchwork quilt of non-systems for a long time. How do we make sure mental health is totally integrated into systems of health? This can’t be the turf of this profession or that,” she said. “We need to move away from a scope of practice with hard lines and toward core competencies that can expand. That’s how we’ll create a more modern and effective way of getting people what they need when they need it.”
It’s a tall order, but Minister Bennett has spent her career proving that she’s not afraid of a challenge.
“We can do this,” she said. “Canadians are counting on it.”
Michel Rodrigue
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To say I was not fully prepared for post-secondary studies is an understatement. It was not a question of intelligence or academic ability. It had more to do with my mental health and lack of support. Yet against all odds, I was successful and graduated from university. How did I manage to complete my degree? Sheer grit and determination.
I was not alone in the struggle. Amongst my circle, almost everyone had either experienced or knew of someone living with anxiety, depression, substance use, or eating disorders. It was so common that it almost went without saying. Almost. For myself, I felt the power and the pain of stigma without ever having heard that word.
Besides, it can be difficult to recognize when you need help. People need to get help on their own terms when they are ready. For me, finding safe, inclusive, and non-judgmental help for mental health on campus seemed almost impossible. So, while I made it through and completed my degree, I recognize that not everyone is so lucky.
The fact is that not all students come to the post-secondary journey on equal footing. I knew plenty of students living in grinding poverty. I was among the many I knew whose grades suffered as a result of working just to survive.
The stakes are high. Who can afford to flunk out or struggle to find the cash to repeat a year? Students feel tremendous pressure to perform in a system that is highly competitive. What makes it even more difficult is the heavy focus on academic success which can discourage students from seeking help.
For too long the only choices appeared to be either fitting in to the range of normal academic performance, failing entirely, or asking for some type of accommodation, which puts someone in a position where they can feel like they are less worthy or capable than others.
In some ways, things are changing. We have been witnessing a shift in societal attitudes toward mental health, and growing understanding of how many people are impacted. We often hear statistics such as one in five people in Canada will experience a mental health problem or illness in any given year, accompanied by the message that it’s okay to not be okay.
Despite some important progress, post-secondary students continue to struggle with their mental health. Research shows that three out of four mental health problems start by age 24, when many young people are either in or just out of post-secondary studies. In a Canadian Alliance of Student Associations survey conducted in May 2020, more than 70 per cent of students said they had felt stressed, anxious, or isolated due to the pandemic, and more than 80 per cent were worried about their futures beyond the pandemic.
What is encouraging is that despite the pandemic or perhaps because of it, many students are speaking up, driving solutions for themselves and their peers, and supporting each other.
Students are not the only ones taking action on mental health. Post-secondary institutions across Canada have started taking more steps to better support the mental health of their students. The National Standard of Canada for Mental Health and Well-Being for Post-Secondary Students, created by the Mental Health Commission of Canada (MHCC), is helping academic institutions better support students and integrate student mental health into their services, supports and systems. A starter kit is available to help people learn more and get started.
If you are interested in learning how to support the mental health of students, you may wish to look at the Inquiring Mind (TIM), the MHCC’s evidence-based training program developed to promote mental health and reduce the stigma of mental illness in a student setting.
There is more that needs to be done, but when I reflect on how far we have come, it gives me hope for future generations of students.
Author:Nicole Chevrier
An avid writer and photographer. A first-time author, she recently published her first children’s book to help children who are experiencing bullying. When she isn’t at her desk, Nicole loves to spend her time doing yoga and meditation, ballroom dancing, hiking, and celebrating nature with photography. She is a collector of sunset moments.
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The shift to permanent hybrid office schedules in post-pandemic workplaces presents a unique challenge for managers and team leaders. Although flexible work has been shown to reduce psychological and physical stress in previously non-remote employees, a distributed team requires different approaches in managing employee orientation, performance issues, and conflicts. While the pandemic may have emphasized the importance of mental health in the workplace, leaders may find that the human elements of their roles, including their ability to regularly connect and relate with their employees, have become more complex.
The Mental Health Commission of Canada (MHCC) has created a resource for managers looking to minimize the virtual divide in the workplace. The Manager’s Toolkit: Leading in a Hybrid Work Environment provides actionable guidelines for managing workplace conflicts and maintaining social cohesion.
“The Manager’s Toolkit provides useful and concrete information to people supporting and leading others, to help them resolve workplace challenges in a way that puts people first,” says Nicole Chevrier, Marketing and Communications Manager at the MHCC.
Most importantly, The Manager’s Toolkit presents a strategy for integrating mental health awareness into hybrid environments and helps managers to recognize signs of declining mental health in employees.
“Applying The Manager’s Toolkit to assess the mental health of your team is similar to how medical professionals scan and evaluate the health of their patients,” explains Dr. Ellen Choi, Assistant Professor in Human Resources and Organizational Behaviour at Toronto Metropolitan University (formerly Ryerson University).
The resource includes workplace scenarios and actionable solutions for a multitude of managerial responsibilities affected by hybrid work. These include strategies for managing performance issues, conflict resolution, onboarding, mental wellness, and mental health awareness.
Using A People-First Lens When Addressing Performance Issues
Because signs of burnout, anxiety, and stress are less apparent during virtual interactions, the first sign of an employee in distress may be in their performance.
“You may find out that it’s not entirely a performance issue, and that other underlying factors are contributing to this change,” explains Samuel Breau, Manager of Access to Quality Mental Health Services at the MHCC.
Virtual teams will make the ability to understand employee issues more important, and more challenging at the same time. The Manager’s Toolkit provides strategies for leaders to evaluate their existing processes for performance measurement and productivity with a more holistic view of the employee. This includes encouraging dialogue around burnout and anxiety, responding with empathy, and supporting employees in prioritizing their mental health.
Dr. Ellen Choi – Photo credit: Ivey School of Business, Western University
Creating A Conversation for Conflict Resolution
Because distributed teams may interact less, conflicts are more likely to be reflected in meetings, emails, and collaborations, without a clear space for conversation. In hybrid environments, the role of a manager in facilitating critical conversations is emphasized, says Dr. Choi. “Honest conversations test the temperature of the hybrid workplace, so when vitals are low in the team, leaders can step up and hold that space or steady it for others.”
The Manager’s Toolkit provides useful strategies for leading conflict resolution in a way that models open communication, to prevent further issues from repeating.
Thinking Outside the Box in Virtual Onboarding
Engaging with work teams is an important way for new employees to feel included, informed, and connected, and managers can help to make this experience fun for all. Julia Armstrong, a manager of the Mental Health and Substance Use program at MHCC, suggests using input from your employees’ own interests and hobbies to plan virtual team warm-ups and social events, for a more authentic experience.
“This is so critical, and not just when onboarding. Find out how team members would enjoy spending time together before assuming you know what folks want,” explains Armstrong. “Sometimes the simplest gatherings can foster the most meaningful connections when you need them most.”
Normalizing Health and Wellness: A Prevention, Not A Cure
Creating a safe space to talk openly about mental health in the workplace is equally as important for employees as it is for managers, says Dr. Choi. “You can’t empathize with others’ vulnerability if you yourself can’t be vulnerable. If you’re unable to stop judging yourself, it prevents you from allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and you may end up just judging other people’s vulnerability as weakness.”
Dr. Choi believes keeping mental health top of mind starts from within. Specifically, managers who may feel the pressure to ‘hold it together’ or be ‘all-knowing’ should regularly practice self-compassion.
“When you feel you have no room to fail, when everyone’s counting on you, you may have limited access to ‘be human’. Without that buffer around our own psyche that allows for vulnerability, there is only a brittleness, and that’s unsustainable,” says Dr. Choi. “Challenge defeating self-talk or self-doubt by relating to the parts of yourself that are overwhelmed by asking ‘am I doing the best I can?’ [or] ‘what do I need right now to give myself a break?'”
Checking In, Not Checking Up, On Staff
Managers of hybrid teams must find new ways to monitor the mental wellness of their teams, and taking a leading role in destigmatizing mental health can make this task easier. The Manager’s Toolkit provides multiple strategies for creating dialogue around mental health at work, including casual check-ins, sharing their own stories, and understanding the signs of declining mental health through training, like The Working Mind.
Whichever approach feels most comfortable, having an open mind while lending an ear to employees is at the heart of creating a safe space of trust and communication between managers and teams in a hybrid workplace.
“We can apply the same principles of being a compassionate leader that listens attentively, observes and checks in when noticing changes,” explains Samuel Breau. “A hybrid model means being even more disciplined in practicing those listening and observing muscles.”
The Manager’s Toolkit serves as a resource for managers navigating the changes of hybrid workplaces with a mental health focus. Find more information on The Mental Health Commission of Canada, and further resources here.
Janelle Jordan
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Picture yourself on an airplane, rain pelting against the windows as you accelerate down the runway. Its gloomy, wet, and dark. With clouds masking the horizon, you begin to lift off, and as the plane stutters, you continue to climb through the storm. Suddenly, you emerge out of the darkness and into the daylight. Blue skies as far as the eye can see. It’s beautiful, calm and inviting.
What changed? It didn’t stop raining for those in the town below you. The clouds didn’t magically disappear and let the sun shine down. All that changed was your perspective. Where you focus your time and energy can determine which reality you choose to sustain. Every day is sunny above the clouds.
Positive thinking can have a major impact on your overall well-being, with effects ranging from lower levels of stress to greater resistance to the common cold, and even increased lifespan.
Four ways to help develop a positive outlook on life
Practice Gratitude
Place your focus on things you are grateful for in life, no matter how insignificant they may seem. Write them down and look through them when you are facing moments of doubt.
Tip: Did you know that how you react in the first five minutes of your morning can impact your mood for the entire day? Instead of reaching for your phone to check texts, social media, and emails, try reciting five things that you are grateful for each morning and observe if it has a positive impact on your mindset throughout the day.
Focus only on things within your control
Life is full of challenges and uncertainty. When facing a new adventure, focus only on what is within your control and pay little attention to the rest. Be prepared, keep an open mind, and remember that some of life’s greatest accomplishments come from our hardest challenges.
Tip: If you are worried about a situation, write down everything you are worried about. Then, cross out the things you cannot control and deal with the things that you can.
Surround yourself with positive influences
It is said that your mindset and attitude are the reflection of the five people you spend the most time with and that you become what you set your focus on. If that is the case, then you cannot expect yourself to be positive if you consistently surround yourself with negativity. Whether it’s the individuals you’re spending time with, or the content you’re ingesting on social media, be mindful of the impact it can have on your mindset. Take the time to seek out positive news, celebrate small victories and surround yourself with people that uplift you.
Tip: If you are trying to decide whether to continue investing yourself in a relationship or a friendship, give all that you can to that individual for two weeks, and be the best friend, partner, or colleague that you can be. If they don’t make an effort to change after you have given it your all, then you will be able to move on confidently, knowing there was nothing more you could give.
Incorporate positive language
The language you use can also impact your outlook. We often use negative self-talk in situations where we lack confidence. For example, we may say “It’s too complicated” or “I have never done this before” when trying something new for the first time. While statements like this may seem harmless, they can slowly deteriorate our outlook on life. Instead of using negatively focused language, try to use words that are uplifting and help maintain a positive outlook on the situation.
Tip: Instead of saying ‘I’ve never done this before’ try saying ‘this is an opportunity to learn something new’. Small changes like this can have a big impact on our overall outlook on life over time. Strive to see the positive in every situation and speak it into existence when possible.
Eric Gronke
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Featuring: MHCC board directors Carole Shankaruk, Kellie Garrett, and Cheryl Fraser
It’s easy to make assumptions about people based on their academic accomplishments, professional successes, or philanthropic contributions. But sometimes if you pull back the curtain, you discover untold depths and hardships that reveal a more valuable story than a five-sentence biography can.
A recent Zoom conversation with three Mental Health Commission of Canada (MHCC) board directors is a powerful reminder that the most important accomplishments may be the ones without accolades.
The passion for mental health shared by Carole Shankaruk, Kellie Garrett, and Cheryl Fraser was born from deeply personal experiences. For each woman, walking through a place of darkness has motivated them to be the light for others.
Accidental advocates
Carole Shankaruk
All three women calling in seemed to be visibly collecting their thoughts before recounting their personal journeys — which undoubtedly unfolded more neatly in retrospect than in reality.
“I’ll be honest,” said Shankaruk from her home near Winnipeg, “part of me was dreading this conversation. Reliving the past can bring up so many painful emotions.”
Rather than bury them or hold back, though, she brandished her Kleenex and began relating the story that changed her life. As a clinical social worker, Shankaruk thought she had the necessary tools to handle whatever motherhood might throw her way.
“But when it’s your own child who is suffering, who’s in pain, you might as well throw the playbook out the window.”
At age seven, the debilitating pain her son Noah had been experiencing was diagnosed as Crohn’s disease, an ailment that causes a notoriously painful inflammation of the bowel.
In Fraser’s case, the journey began only a few months after her son Jamie was born. “He started to appear constantly frustrated, he wasn’t eating properly, and then his development seemed to slow down,” she said. “The doctors couldn’t find anything medically wrong with him, but we knew he needed help, and more importantly he needed someone to advocate for him.”
A mother’s love (and guilt)
Kellie Garrett
One of the first things Shankaruk recalls was the difficulty of dealing with her son’s pain. “We tried so hard to manage it, but it interfered with virtually everything.” She remembers feeling tremendous guilt, a burden she still bears today. “Did I intervene forcefully enough? Was there more I could have been doing?”
As she expressed this thought, tentatively at first, she was encouraged by Garrett, an executive coach, speaker, and consultant, calling from her home in Regina.
“Oh, the guilt!” she said. “As mothers, I don’t know if we can ever entirely free ourselves from it.” Garrett herself experienced undiagnosed postpartum depression following the birth of her second child, which occurred on the heels of her mother’s death and a cross-country move.
“I had this notion that ‘this’ is what motherhood is,” she explained. “Exhaustion, being overwhelmed, isolation . . . that it was all just part and parcel of what you have to trudge through. Being in a new city, I didn’t have friends to confide in. Also, my partner wasn’t able to recognize the signs and symptoms, and I had had a less than ideal family life growing up, so I didn’t have a positive model to draw on.”
Garrett gathered herself before delving more deeply into the mental illness that had left its mark, both on her mother and her grandmother before that. “My grandmother faced unimaginable hardship when her husband abandoned the family. She had a breakdown, went through shock treatment several times, and was ultimately diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My mother also lived with major depression throughout her adult life. When my own son began to experience depression, I felt like it was his rightful legacy. And feeling like somehow my bloodline was toxic, that it had poisoned the well . . . it’s hard to reckon with that.”
Here Shankaruk jumped in. “We blame ourselves for so much, and in doing that we not only contribute to the stigma that surrounds mental illness, we’re also left trying to pour from an empty cup. When it comes to motherhood, we experience traumas big and small, but we don’t necessarily have the language to name them or the tools to address them. So we soldier on without realizing that we’re perpetuating some of the harms we most wish to avoid.”
Fraser’s self-blame wasn’t centred on Jamie’s condition but on an inability to offer protection in his most vulnerable setting — the classroom. While he’d always had challenges in school — exacerbated by his learning differences, limited coordination, and towering stature — Grade 6 was a turning point.
“At a birthday party for Jamie, I overheard a boy mention a teacher who was throwing things,” she explained. “When I asked about it, the floodgates opened. All the boys began to tell me how their teacher had been forcing Jamie to fetch his coffee and throwing chalkboard brushes at him when he gave incorrect answers in class. I was horrified.” As it turned out, the teacher had a history of mistreating students with extra needs.
Fraser and her husband removed him from the school, only to have to transfer him twice more. By the eighth grade, Jamie had had enough. Frustrated by years of being misunderstood, by students and teachers alike, he walked into his principal’s office and announced: “If you don’t do something, I’m going to kill myself.”
“At that point, we really had to step in and take over,” Fraser said. “Jamie had a hard time trusting adults, but he needed to trust us. Thank God he did.”
In Shankaruk’s case, the middle years saw an improvement in Noah’s general happiness. Although he still battled waves of pain, as a young adult he was doing well. “He was working and the future was bright,” she said, growing visibly emotional. “But then one day on a job site Noah complained of his pain to a friend. Without thinking, he took a pill that was offered. And while it relieved his immediate physical symptoms, it also unleashed an addiction that would eclipse the pain of his Crohn’s.”
The decisions her son made while using substances led to an arrest and a court appearance. “I was so terrified, I was carrying so much anger at how he was being treated, I was literally shaking from head to toe with repressed feelings. Yes, he’d make a mistake. Yes, he’d taken pills that altered his behaviour and clouded his judgment. But where was the rest of the story? Why wasn’t anyone asking about his chronic illness? Why wasn’t anyone painting a picture of all that he had achieved? Why is the system so punitive when rehabilitation — or in my son’s case, medical intervention — should be the goal? This is such a beautiful human being, and he’s been reduced to a number on criminal registry.”
“I’m so sorry,” Garrett interjected. “I didn’t know any of this.” The two pause for a moment, as if in solidarity for the lonely paths so many mothers must walk before finding some peace or solace.
“My one son was born with autism,” she said. “And I spent much of my time focused on his needs, while my other son slipped into anxiety as a child and later depression. . . . I feel badly that he was lost in the shuffle.”
Both women threw themselves into work, a soothing balm when their home lives were feeling chaotic. “I was good at my job,” Garrett recalled, “and I knew what I was doing. There was no manual for motherhood. It felt like a science experiment. You’re flying blind, yet it’s the thing that women are conditioned to believe should come most naturally. When I was younger, I didn’t know how to reach out for help. Worse, I would have felt shame for needing it.”
Finding reprieve
Cheryl Fraser
Today, Shankaruk, Garrett, and Fraser are aware that the wisdom gained from their hardships may help someone else who has begun that kind of journey — it’s the reason they agreed to share such personal stories.
“The advice I would give to anyone struggling, whether it’s as a new mom or for any other reason, is to reach out and find your people,” said Shankaruk. “For me, it was a women’s spiritual group. Most were much older than I was, and that age gap was such a blessing. They were further down the road, were able to see potential pitfalls before I could, and had invaluable advice born from experiences I hadn’t yet had.”
Ultimately, Garrett also found solace in female friendships, although she noted that the narrative around women’s desire to compete rather than lift others up needs to be rewritten. “I don’t think women are inherently more competitive with each other or are driven by a desire to undercut. I think society has set impossible expectations and put us in a perpetual state of scarcity.” The solution, she said, “is to reframe the conversation. It should be about the way so many women are very supportive. How can we create space for and celebrate the women in our lives who are clearing new paths and forging opportunities that benefit us all?”
Both Garrett and Shankaruk have also found their footing by embracing nature. “To go into my garden, to be surrounded by natural beauty, that’s where I feel most at home,” said Shankaruk, who is Métis and often turns to the land for healing.
“There is power in giving our experiences room to breathe,” she added. “There is power in naming our traumas, in owning our challenges and, in turn, sharing the hard-won knowledge with others.”
As Fraser points out, sometimes that hard-won knowledge stems from a gut feeling, and that’s exactly her advice for other parents. “Trust your instincts. If you feel like something is wrong — with your child or yourself — it probably is,” she said. “It might take a long time to get the answers and solutions you need, but don’t stop searching, and don’t stop advocating.”
“It’s also so important,” Garrett emphasized, “to find people who are able to see and love you for yourself. If you have a sick child or are overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood, it can feel like you’re only two dimensional — like you’re just a mom and an employee, for example.”
She also believes carving out some personal time, just for yourself, is critical (while giving any partner the same privilege). “Finding the space to connect with yourself and pursue what matters to your soul outside parenting actually makes you a better parent.”
“When Connor was diagnosed with autism, I cried for two years straight. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I thought about suicide more than once. The only thing that kept me alive was my children, and some visceral, bone-deep conviction that I couldn’t leave them.”
A fresh perspective
Today, all three women have gained some of the objectivity that comes with time.
“I didn’t realize it then,” Fraser said, “but the sum of my experience with Jamie led me to be a different kind of caregiver for my own mother when she started to decline with Alzheimer’s. I learned to truly prioritize joy, and that it’s possible for someone to be happy, no matter what stage they’re in or what form that happiness takes.”
Garrett had a similar epiphany. “For a long time, I was angry with my own mother. But with some distance, I now believe she was doing the best she could. In forgiving her shortcomings, I’ve been able to extend some of that compassion to myself. That is the ultimate gift.”
Shankaruk agreed. “This is what we hope for. That we forgive our parents their imperfections and hope our children give us that grace. Because motherhood, in all its messy complexity, has led me to discover untold strengths and unimaginable love. But we need not walk that road alone.”
Amber St. Louis
Illustrator: Kasia Niton – https://sunnystreet.studio/ Instagram: @sunnystreet.studio
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People 85 and older make up Canada’s fastest-growing population segment, increasing at nearly four times the rate of the total. Also growing quickly is the number of evidence-based tools and strategies to help them live longer, happier, and more fulfilling lives, which is good news, since the size of this group will triple over the next few decades.
From research to resources
How does getting older affect our mental health? For Dalhousie University professor of psychiatry Dr. Keri-Leigh Cassidy, “contrary to popular notions that things only get worse as we age, research shows some things can actually improve. Throughout our lives, our brains continue to grow and rewire through neuroplasticity. While we may be more likely to encounter loss and adversity as we age, we can also become better at handling life’s challenges. The research also shows that levels of happiness, compassion, and gratitude increase with age.”
A recognized leader in late-life psychotherapy, mood, and anxiety disorders, Cassidy chairs the Atlantic Seniors’ Mental Health Network and is the clinical academic director of Dalhousie’s geriatric psychiatry program. In 2011, she launched Fountain of Health, a national non-profit initiative that shares the current science on well-being, resilience, and optimal aging while offering webinars and courses for individuals, organizations, and clinicians.
“People often don’t recognize how much influence they can have on their health,” she said. “For example, we now know that genetic factors account for only 25 per cent of human life expectancy and that unhealthy lifestyles are responsible for more than 85 per cent of chronic diseases.”
Cassidy also cites research showing that those who adopt specific habits are more likely to live longer and report higher levels of happiness and satisfaction. As detailed on the Fountain of Health website, these habits fall into general categories such as physical activity, social interaction, brain challenges, mental health self-care, and positive thinking.
“Our thinking, including how we think about aging, is a fascinating new area of research,” she said. “A Yale University study found that people with a more positive self-perception of aging outlived those with a more negative view by 7.5 years. Regular self-care through yoga, mindfulness practice, and healthy sleep habits can also improve mental well-being. Knowing the signs and symptoms of mental illness — and being willing to reach out for professional help, if needed — is also vitally important.”
Life begins at 60
Top Sixty Over Sixty founder Helen Hirsh Spence came to a similar conclusion about the way we think about aging when she approached retirement age. It was then that she began to fully appreciate the harmful impacts of ageism and the stereotypes associated with retirement.
“Common descriptions such as ‘put out to pasture’ or ‘permanently on vacation’ can have a pernicious effect by reinforcing negative views,” she said. “People who internalize these views risk losing their sense of purpose as they age. And as the research shows, they can end up shortening their lives as a result.”
After a career in education, Spence started the for-profit social enterprise in her late 60s to help counter ageism and harness the talents of older adults in Canada. She believes that most of us have long undervalued older people and the contributions they can make to society.
“My life’s work is now dedicated to reframing the conversation about aging,” she said. “There are two parts to Top Sixty Over Sixty: showing businesses and organizations how to benefit from age-diverse workforces, and helping older people reinvent themselves with confidence and agency.”
Practical, evidence-based tips
The increased levels of isolation due to the pandemic make it particularly important to adopt habits that protect both physical and mental health. To help older adults protect their mental wellness during COVID-19, the Mental Health Commission of Canada teamed up with Cassidy to develop a tip sheet with practical, evidence-based guidance. For example, the first tip recommends focusing on what we can control, such as practising self-care and incorporating healthy routines into our daily lives.
Now in her early fifties, Cassidy has become increasingly disciplined about her own self-care.
“It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the ongoing pandemic,” she said. “To counter this, I follow the tip about limiting my exposure to news media, especially right before bedtime. I also make time to exercise and express gratitude, and I connect with a group of friends every week by video conference. These habits help me stay balanced and appreciate the good things in life.”
Peter McKinnon
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My name is Tami.
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 1996. I struggled because I couldn’t find stable employment until four years ago. This is because as a schizophrenic, I was not seen for who I really am and what I can do. I feel that we are seen as incapable and as dangerous. But I am a wife and a mother, and I am now self-employed. I found my way!
I wish to help those in my situation find hope when they are first diagnosed with a mental disorder. We are often diverted into volunteerism and not encouraged to work, because social norms make it seem like people with mental illness don’t deserve to work and make money. My husband’s family told him to leave me at the start of our marriage because I was only a volunteer. I was being pushed to volunteer by certain organizations who promised me paid work. But they were empty promises they made that I would get paid. I was admitted to the hospital because of the pressures of family and the situation.
There is a way out. Now.
Back then, there wasn’t any hope, but now there is. Society has slowly begun to accept mental illness. We can speak out and be heard and recognized as someone who is capable.
I started driving an Uber 4 years ago and I feel like I am contributing to society and my family respects me. My husband is proud of me!
I also invented a mood band. It changes colour when temperature changes are indicating anxiety or depression, and then the wearer snaps the band across the skin, grounding them. This method is Pavlovian. Anxiety is associated with colour and to calm down, you snap the band. And it is a distraction. On the band it says STOP SNAP BREATHE.
I also wrote a book which I am getting out to the public called “Put me in a box: how I learned to be crazy”. It is a raw and candid account of my journey with anorexia when I was a teen and later on, my battle with schizophrenia.
You too can follow your dreams and hope for the stars!
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Dr. Manon Charbonneau remembers the day vividly, though she’d rather forget it.
“So that’s it, then — cancer,” she recalls saying in disbelief with her eyes locked on the digital images of her mammogram. The radiologist confirmed the diagnosis, and in a moment her world was “completely dismantled.”
As a clinical psychiatrist, Charbonneau had dedicated much of her life to helping other people. “I’d wanted to be a doctor since I was five years old,” she said.
Yet, the long road unfolding before her would mean a marked shift. “While I used to say I was going to grow up and cure cancer, instead cancer found me.”
At the time of her diagnosis, Charbonneau had been practising at a hospital in rural Quebec. And although her medical background helped prepare her for what cancer would do to her body, it did not prepare her for the toll it would take on her mind.
A legacy of battling stigma
Many years before her diagnosis, Charbonneau was confronted by another debilitating illness — depression.
Manon Charbonneau
“I had reached such a low place that I almost left my residency. Then, one of my professors told me that whatever I chose to do, I should never talk about my depression because it would hurt my career,” she said. “So that’s exactly what I did — put my head down and stayed silent.”
Without a word to anyone in her professional sphere, Charbonneau fortunately managed to overcome her depression. Afterward, her career took off, and she eventually became president of the Canadian Psychiatric Association (CPA). At the end of her CPA presidency in 2008, nearly 20 years since she’d first dealt with depression, she decided it was time to break her silence.
In her final address as CPA president, Charbonneau candidly described her personal experience with depression, leaving many in the crowd stunned.
“At the time, no one — let alone health professionals — was talking about their own mental health problems,” she said. “I saw an opportunity to change that.”
Charbonneau’s candour ultimately led to the creation of the CPA’s working group on stigma and discrimination, which she chaired for the next 10 years. “Telling my story was a way for me to close the door on my time as CPA president as well as on my depression.”
What she didn’t know was that her cancer diagnosis would come later that year, opening the door to let depression come back in.
Suffering in silence
“After my diagnosis, everything moved very quickly,” Charbonneau recalled. Before she knew it, she had a treatment plan that included surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation.
Yet, as her intensive treatments began to wreak havoc on her body, she noticed signs of her depression returning. “It was insidious,” she said. “Slowly my thoughts and mood started changing until I was consumed by depression all over again.”
Battling breast cancer and a major depressive episode at the same time, Charbonneau was struck by the stark contrast in support between the two.
“Cancer treatment is like a giant pink hot-air balloon. You’re lifted up with support — good funding, good programs, a team that checks in on you every day. Everyone comes together to take great care of you,” she said. “In mental illness, there is no balloon.”
Even with the robust treatment plan Charbonneau received for her cancer, psychological services were not part of the program. “When it comes to mental health, cancer patients are mostly left to fend for themselves.”
Charbonneau is not alone in her experience of having to deal with cancer alongside mental illness. As a recent Mental Health Commission of Canada (MHCC) fact sheet (developed with the Canadian Partnership Against Cancer) points out, the estimated prevalence of depression and anxiety in people treated for cancer is at least double what it is in the general public.
Citing a large survey of adult cancer survivors in Canada, the fact sheet also notes that nearly 80 per cent experienced at least one emotional concern in the one to three years following their treatment, many of which were not met.
The difference in support between Charbonneau’s cancer and depression extended beyond her care team, who she noted, did the best they could within the limits of the health-care system.
Socially, she says, we think of mental and physical illness very differently — something she realized with striking clarity one afternoon while recovering at home.
“I woke up from a nap to 19 flower arrangements, 37 missed calls, and what seemed like hundreds of messages of support from friends, colleagues, and even patients,” she said, adding that for a moment she wondered whether she’d already died. “But in all those cards and voicemails, my mental health was never mentioned.”
For Charbonneau, that experience was a poignant reminder that the stigma around mental illness was alive and well.
“People just don’t know what to do or say when someone is dealing with mental illness, so they say nothing,” she said. “Without that support, the road to recovery gets pretty lonely.”
The power of hope
In the thick of a second depressive episode and taxing cancer treatments, Charbonneau found herself with little motivation. “Some days I couldn’t even bring myself to take a shower, let alone take the steps I needed to get help for my depression.”
But after some difficult conversations with her husband and two children, she realized that she could no longer push her depression aside. If she was to make a full recovery, it needed to include her mental health.
As she worked with professionals to overcome her depression for the second time, Charbonneau began to feel more hopeful for the future — something she considers key to recovery. “As mental health professionals, a huge part of our job is instilling hope — hope that recovery is possible and that a higher quality of life is waiting for you.”
She also found hope for her physical recovery from an unexpected source when asked to attend a charity event almost a year away. “Suddenly I thought, maybe I’m not dying after all. I think I’m going to live to be at this event. That was a huge turning point for me.”
For others struggling to cope with a serious illness — mental, physical, or both — Charbonneau emphasizes the importance of vulnerability. “Reach out to someone you trust and really open up. It’s only by being honest about how you feel that you can get better. Help is there if you’re willing to ask for it.”
An agent of change
Even for Charbonneau, being vulnerable is easier said than done. She hesitated when the people at Bell Let’s Talk asked her to become an ambassador and share her experience with depression and cancer.
“After taking such a long break from sharing my personal story, I had to overcome self-stigma to do it again,” she said. “Working in health care, it’s hard to admit to being less than 100 per cent. But everyone close to me told me that I had to do it, and they were right. Vulnerability is what leads to change.”
That change in the way mental illness is perceived has become the backbone of Charbonneau’s advocacy work. In addition to Bell Let’s Talk, she has also spread her message as a member of the MHCC’s board (2013-19) and continues to work as a trainer for its Mental Health First Aid program.
As she continues to advocate for change at every level — from individual attitudes to the health-care system and public policy more broadly — she often comes back to her own experience. “I picture that big pink hot-air balloon that carried me through my cancer treatment, and I think, ‘when will the balloon arrive for those living with mental illness? Where is their balloon?’”
Perhaps the only thing stronger than Charbonneau’s drive to find that balloon is her belief that we can all help. In describing how motivated she is by the power of individual actions, she cites a favourite quote: Be the change you wish to see in the world. “We are all agents of change,” she said. By shifting the way we think about, talk about, and care about mental health, we can create the change we wish to see.”
Amber St. Louis
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How do you build a support system that works for you? Good question.
I’m hoping that by sharing some of my personal experiences (because I’m still learning new lessons myself daily), I can help someone else out there.
The first thing to learn is: you’re not alone. That was probably the hardest lesson for me but having a support system became crucial in instilling that in my thought process.
Being on the road to recovery has its own sets of challenges, of course, but even just getting on the road to begin the trip is already tricky, right?
A little about me. I’m a recovering addict and recovering from an addiction is a process that includes physical and mental withdrawal, long-term cravings, and lifestyle changes to help combat the original causes of your addiction and your addiction triggers.
Sounds a little challenging, doesn’t it? As I said earlier, it’s a process, and it is not an easy one.
That’s where I had to learn my second lesson: Asking for help is okay.
Not too long after seeking help for my substance abuse issues, it became apparent that I had dual citizenship in the world of recovery; my mental health was suffering greatly. I was eventually diagnosed with a few mental health illnesses.
Once my healing journey started, I needed to encompass myself positively to keep it going; that’s where needing a support system comes in handy.
Let’s be honest – if knowing how to build a support system was already common knowledge, a lot of us probably wouldn’t have gotten caught up in the throes of addiction in the first place.
I needed to identify what support types would benefit me because there is no one-size-fits-all in that department.
I love to walk, and I can walk for hours on my own, but isolation can sometimes be unhealthy for me. When anyone offers to take a stroll with me, it feels like I won the lottery every time, but lately, I don’t even wait for offers anymore. I’ve voluntarily organized group walking meetups, stepping out of my comfort zone, and socializing; that’s major for me.
Knowing what I needed from my support circle helped me strengthen it, no matter what it resembled. Taking my time building my circle has become essential to the foundation of my recovery.
Another step I had to take meant reaching out to people who knew and loved me already.
Putting my recovery first had created a distance with some of my loved ones. Still, by demonstrating how much I wanted to repair and close gaps, some of those relationships have become even more significant today.
Once I started, things really went on a roll. I began to reconnect with old friends and revisit familiar places that made me feel safe and happy. I went about trying out old hobbies again – I even picked up my old guitar and started retaking lessons. I hadn’t touched an instrument since grade 10 when I was in the school band.
I realized that building a support system should also involve my interests outside of my ailments.
Yes, going to therapy regularly and attending 12-Step meetings are crucial to my healing process. Still, regardless of whether I was a pro or a beginner at new activities or interests, I found some very beneficial to the process.
I felt shy and dared myself one day to try yoga (those yoga outfits are cute; I needed to justify the purchase) from the comfort of my home, mind you, but I was still nervous to try it. Now, I hate to sound cliche, but I think everyone can benefit from what yoga has done for my mind, body, and spirit since I started.
I got active, which may sound scary or overwhelming at first because I know it did for me, but it helped me get more involved, which led to getting out of my house.
I started socializing with like-minded individuals and soon experienced the power of sharing healthy coping mechanisms with others. I don’t need to become BFFs for these types of connections to be still very beneficial in strengthening my support system.
My fear of being vulnerable always held me back from opening up more. I started to face that fear, and now my vulnerability has become my superpower.
I wasn’t always this transparent though, and that’s where having a therapist and going to counselling helped the most, because building a proper support system means I will have to be transparent about how I feel or what I need.
Especially since I’m relearning how to be social while prioritizing putting my recovery first at the same time. Having a social network is only a benefit if it’s positive, which means I have to be hypervigilant in all my personal or professional interactions. If they start to provide any negative obstacles to my journey (even if they think they mean well), it’s my responsibility to remove them.
This is where creating boundaries and sticking to them came into full effect for me. Once any relationship becomes triggering, I am prudent because my recovery is too valuable to take any chances.
I practice mindfulness and I’m now at a place where I stay present about the people, places, or things surrounding me. I’m more aware of any scenario, becoming no longer supportive and acting accordingly.
I may make new life-altering connections; I may have to distance myself from or end relationships that once seemed never-ending.
My support community doesn’t need to be overwhelming either but checking out support groups in other areas of my life (parenting, career goals, etc. etc.) is just as beneficial if not a necessity.
Creating a nice balanced routine involving family, friends, career, and professional organizations sounds like perfection but being the leader of my recovery means that I get to be in charge of what that looks like as long as it provides positive reinforcements to my wellness.
I am taking my time to build my support system; I’ll slow down if needed and pick up the pace when I’m ready.
Most importantly, I’ll continue to make adjustments when necessary because being active in your recovery is an ever-evolving job.
Here are some of my favourite support ideas:
- Yoga
- Meditation
- Reading
- Writing
- Focus on my spirituality
- Walking
- Knitting (Don’t laugh, it’s another of my favourites)
- Express my feelings
- Asking for help
- Avoid slippery places, people, and things
- 12 Step Meetings/Call my sponsor
- FUN
Initially returned to her love of writing to strengthen her healing process. She has since evolved into a freelance writer full-time, paving her way to be very outspoken about advocating and supporting mental health issues. In 2020, in addition to her writing career, Anya became the driving force and Creative Director behind As Told By Anya (ATBA): a versatile source for content creation, consulting and management. ATBA is dedicated to amplifying the often-unheard stories of marginalized BIPOC communities. You can find out more about Anya, her work and social media here: www.linktr.ee/anyanicola
